Right now, the Internet and social media seem to have answers to all possible questions. That’s why when you google about promise rings and how they work for the formal side of your relationship, you can find all sorts of answers. However, not all of them are correct and you can end up more confused about the matter than before you started the research. To spare you the trouble and to save you from reading irrelevant stuff, we’ve put together a guide that will give an accurate answer to the question How does promise ring work? Plus: useful tips on timeless styles, cool trends in promise rings, and how to give (or exchange) these rings.
What is a promise ring?
Sometimes, you can read that promise rings and engagement rings are the same, or similar, or are interchangeable tokens of love, or something along these lines. In a nutshell: no, they are not. Promise rings work differently and they are meant for an earlier stage of your relationship, the one before actual engagement happens.
Promise rings stand for the promise to be together and to love each other until the engagement happens. Traditionally, getting engaged means setting the wedding date and starting preparations. Yet the official engagement can be postponed for a couple of years or so for many reasons (money, career, geographical obstacles, you name it).
So to keep the flame burning and to confirm that the relationship exists and develops in these conditions, a promise ring is given and worn (or two rings are exchanged by a couple). It gives hope and reminds you two of love and future plans together without being as formal and binding as an engagement ring.
This ring can also be a visible symbol of fidelity and affection for people who don’t plan to get married but are devoted to each other and want to mark it somehow.
So, all in all, a promise ring is given as a promise of devotion and continuing a relationship until an engagement and a marriage. Or else, a promise ring is given in place of an engagement ring when neither engagement nor marriage is planned as a formal step.
How Does Promise Ring Work?
A promise ring works as a physical sign of commitment and exclusivity shared between two people without being as formal as an engagement ring. A promise ring is usually less blingy and outstanding than an engagement piece, and it does not raise questions about the relationship status. It may be very convenient if you don’t plan to explain to people you hardly know why you don’t plan to marry straight away (or what stands in the way).
This piece can be worn on either hand, so it cannot be confused with marriage paraphernalia easily. Just a relaxed pretty ring flashing on a ring finger, maybe even in a stack. But to you as a couple, it is as meaningful and profound as a wedding band, it is a token the meaning of which only two of you know.
Once again, a promise ring does not mean engagement, but it means that your courtship and dating will continue to thrive and grow into something bigger. If a marriage is an option, a promise ring reminds that this sweet day will come after this unpleasant delay.
Different Types of Promise Rings
Since we started talking about how these rings differ from engagement rings in appearance, let’s expand on the topic. There are several types that never go out of style and go well with most jewelry styles. Pick them now and see your loved one wear this ring proudly forever.
Solitaire rings with small-size diamonds or their alternatives
Rings with classic diamonds or their alternatives like moissanite or quartz never go out of style and fit into any jewelry combination, from formal to modern trendy, or even experimental. Since we are exploring how ‘How does promise ring work?’ here’s a key tip for this style: a diamond should be modest in size so as not to be conflated with an engagement stone. A smaller good-quality stone on a slim band looks cool and contemporary and can be worn forever after. Choosing silver or gold for a setting is a matter of choice since both are in vogue now.
They are interesting and classic at the same time. A cluster can be symmetrical or asymmetrical, stretched along the band or vertical, and it makes the cluster style so versatile. Usually, a cluster consists of the same stones, colorless or colored, but you can experiment here. Mix both types of stones, or play with setting colors. Just keep it understated, so as not to outshine the future engagement ring.
Halo is as cool and timeless as a solitaire ring. Whether you opt for diamonds, alternatives, or colored stones, make sure that the central stone is not too big, as a halo will make it even bigger. Instead, pick an interesting central part, like marquise or baguette-shaped stones, and a ring will become a small work of art.
One more tip is to look for rare and unusual stones as centerpieces, like opal, sunstone, moss agate, or alexandrite. Set in a sparkling halo, they will look sensational, no less.
This trend started not very long ago and it keeps gaining momentum now and beyond, so consider it seriously. If your loved one loves symbolism in her jewelry, it’s a prompt to go for a birthstone. A small pop of color is always a good idea in any jewelry collection. Plus, it will show how you appreciate her interests and tastes.
This design is classic (some may consider it dated), but recently it has reappeared on trend-setting charts of major jewelry houses. A classic form includes three stones of the same shape but different sizes, smaller ones flanking the central one. You can opt for different stone shapes, like a baguette flanked by two cushions, or even round shapes. Or else, choose a colored central stone, and you’ll get a modern yet universal ring. Just again, keep stones modest so as not to raise unwanted questions.
Choosing a Promise Ring
First and foremost, the taste and jewelry preferences of the wearer should be the guide. If she likes silver, go for silver. If she prefers gold of a particular shade, pick it. Stone? The same rule applies. The ring is expected to be worn with pleasure and thrill, after all, and not to raise suspicions by contrasting starkly with other rings.
Secondly, some ring shapes and styles can impact how a hand looks. Three-stone rings that run across the finger look better on longer thinner fingers. Solitaire or cluster rings look equally good on longer and shorter fingers. Since a stone or a cluster is small, it won’t take up much space or get too much attention.
Halo rings work on the same premise: horizontally stretched halos give a finger more substance and ‘ground’ it. Vertically oriented halos elongate a finger, slimming it visually.
Colorless stones will fit into any style and jewelry combinations. Colored gems will need matching rings for stacking or coordinated colors of rings worn on other fingers.
Yet these are just generic guidelines. You choose the ring that appeals to your sweetheart – or pick a pair of rings that both of you like. How to wear and style it is purely a matter of taste and mood on a given day.
The Etiquette of Giving and Receiving Promise Rings
Let’s do it as a short Q&A session.
Where to get a promise ring and how much to pay for it?
Anywhere you like, in an online or brick-and-mortar stone. Get it as a ready model or order a custom one. Choose it secretly or do it with the person you plan to give it to. Get a pair of rings and exchange them, it will be extra special. No rules apply here.
The price should be reasonable since the main splurge will go to an engagement ring. $300-$600 for a slim dainty ring will be just fine. $1,000? Perfect, just don’t choose a ring that’s too over the top and engagement-style.
How to give this ring?
Intimately and quietly. It’s a contrast to an engagement, with videos, friends, and all. Choose a quiet moment when there are only two of you, and explain gently what it is and what it means (if that point was not discussed before). The goal is to make clear that it’s not a proposal (yet) and not an engagement, but a step towards more closeness and a symbol of commitment in the future. Then give the ring or exchange rings. This is it, congratulations!
Is it OK to wear a promise ring after an engagement?
Absolutely. That’s why we recommend choosing more universal styles so that the ring fits into most jewelry trends for the years to come. A promise ring can be worn in a stack of rings, with an engagement ring, or even as a pendant on a necklace. It’s also fine to put it away and wear it occasionally.
Cultural and Societal Perspectives on Promise Rings
Probably, you are researching the question of How does promise ring work because you haven’t heard of it before. Yet it’s not a modern whim or a fleeting jewelry trend.
Promise rings in various forms existed throughout the history of civilization, starting with ancient Rome (maybe even earlier, but we don’t have evidence for that).
In Rome, these rings were exchanged and worn before marriage, while all preparations took place (and it was a very lengthy process).
In the Middle Ages, posy rings delivered a romantic promise; they were exchanged by sweethearts and contained inscriptions, sometimes encrypted, reminding of tender feelings.
In the 19th century, symbolic jewelry was all the rage, promise rings included. They could be simple or elaborate, with secret meanings hidden in specific combinations of stones.
And nowadays we see the resurrection of one more interesting and sweet tradition, so why not?
A promise ring is not as formal and binding as an engagement ring, and it can be given and worn even by teens who plan to marry when coming of age. Yes, puppy love, school crush, and all, but the true intentions and feelings are there, anyway. So if you are still considering whether to do it as an adult – yes, it’s worth it!
Difference Between Promise Rings and Engagement Rings
As we said, promise rings are tokens that speak to you as a couple only, and usually, you don’t announce proudly that you’ve got a promise ring and enjoy the oohs and ahhs about the stone and the event. This promise of commitment is an intimate moment, and it does not evoke the formal launch of pre-wedding planning.
An engagement ring, on the other side, is a formal benchmark that sets the clock ticking towards the wedding. Traditionally, a wedding is expected to take place a year or so after an engagement announcement, so you’d better set your financial matters and plans straight before making this step. An engagement ring is an official declaration to everyone around that marriage will take place in the foreseeable future, and it has more cultural implications (and even obligations attached) than a promise ring.
We’ve tried to keep it short and succinct, just the essentials about promise rings and how to approach the matter today. While choosing it, consider what your loved one would want and start from there. If there’s nothing currently available of the type you envision – no worries, we at YourAsteria will gladly step in and craft the promise ring of your dreams. But first, browse through a selection of new models and unique stones we offer, and you’ll definitely find something special.
Something that truly signifies your love and your shared promise.