We all hear the word ‘engagement’ and begin to swoon immediately, and that’s normal. It’s one of the most important and exciting moments in life, so everything connected to it deserves close attention.
But when exactly should engagement come into focus for the two of you? Is there such a thing as ‘too early’ or ‘too late’? Is there some timeline to follow?
Well, yes and no. There is no fixed master plan that points you to each next step with neat timestamps attached. But there are some common observations and time frames that are more optimal for making big steps successfully.
So if you wonder if it’s high time to buy a coveted engagement ring, read on and find your current location on the blissful map of relationships.
Engagement does not mean immediate wedding
First things first, engagement does not mean marriage. Expect another six months or so to pass after engagement before you actually walk down the aisle. So include it in your calculations.
Before an official engagement, there may come a promise ring and a spoken commitment that binds you together for some time before you can make solid plans. Add this waiting time into your pre-engagement period, too. So, like, if you plan to exchange promise rings, then spend some time apart or in waiting, and then engage officially, all this time counts as one pre-engagement journey.
We make this somber disclaimer to avoid confusion that can lead to unnecessary delays or pauses. So all the time you spend dating before a promise ring, and then after a promise ring till an engagement, is included in the timing we discuss.
Different people have different timelines (and that's normal)
So when is the right time to consider an engagement seriously? When you start talking about the next steps and the future together, and these conversations become more frequent, you’re probably ready to engage.
There is no single fixed timeline that dictates how or when you should commit, or that guarantees that your union will be a ‘forever’ one. Every couple has their own pace and should decide in a way that meets their needs.
Yet, for all unique stories, there are some common points. Relationship specialists and psychologists have teamed up, interviewed an ample number of married couples, and found that there are some milestones in dating that prompt that it’s ‘the time’.
- The majority of respondents said that they had been dating between 2 and 5 years before a proposal and a ring. They did not rush into commitment headlong and got to know each other through highs and lows before tying the knot. These couples had the lowest likelihood of divorcing later (compared to couples who got engaged really quickly, like after one year of dating).
- Around a third of couples who took the survey dated less than 2 years before engagement. These couples had various reasons for starting a serious relationship early, but they also reported that they did their best to learn more about each other before making it official.
- Around 15% of couples dated for 6 or more years before taking the serious step. Usually, they explain their prolonged dating by circumstances and life situations that made them delay the engagement. So, this is rather an exception.
The key takeaway? If you date for 2 to 4 years before getting engaged, it’s the safest and the most successful bet.
A longer delay may make a partner wonder what the plans for the future are and possibly consider other options. That is not what you want, definitely.
When is the engagement ‘rushed’?
There is an opposite to a delayed engagement: a rushed engagement. Every couple is special and has their own love story, but getting engaged in the first year of dating is considered a rushed decision.
As psychologists and dating experts explain, the first 6 to 12 months of dating are the ‘honeymoon’, when people see only the best in each other and prefer not to notice anything else. So there is a big chance of not seeing the full picture, and it may turn out later that you cannot agree on some crucial points, like the number of kids or life plans.
To avoid this sort of disappointment, give your love some time to grow and mature. As said, 2 to 4 years of dating are a perfect timeline to discover each other’s character and ideas of life together. So once you’re engaged after that, your ‘happily ever after’ is practically guaranteed to you.
What is ‘too long’ before an engagement?
Well, life happens, and sometimes, people in love have to delay an engagement for a rather prolonged time. But don’t make it a rule.
If some serious obstacles don’t interfere with your plans, what makes you delay the proposal? Or what makes your partner delay it? You need to have a conversation with yourself and with your loved one to set the record straight.
Even when you finally propose, and the wedding preparations fill you with joy, your partner will still remember how long you made them wait. Your sweetheart does not deserve it.
How to choose a ring
As mentioned, you’ve got two key decisions to make. First, whether you will get a promise ring, and second, what style of engagement ring you’re hunting for.
If you’ve been together long enough before getting engaged, you’ve had enough time to learn about her jewelry taste and all. That’s why you should approach the selection process from the viewpoint of what she likes and wants, not what some random influencer tries to sell you.
A promise ring - if you plan for one - can be inexpensive and unpretentious. A silver piece with a small stone will do. You can splurge a bit, but it’s better to save up for a cool engagement ring. Yet even dainty gold promise rings with small diamonds or other gems won’t break the bank.
An engagement ring is a different story. If you know what stones she wants - a diamond or some other type of gem - consider your task half complete. You have to choose a setting only, and you’re ready for a proposal. Even if it turns out later that she wants a different stone, you can customize a ring and make it personal, truly one-of-a-kind.
If she - and you, correspondingly - don’t know yet what to choose, start from safe options. A solitaire, halo, and a three-stone ring are the timeless classics reinvented every season. So you can find something universal and fresh among them.
If you know that your loved one prefers something unusual and personalized, opt for unique stones in simpler settings, like mysterious moss agate, warm sunstone, or striking blue turquoise.
Or as an ultimate flex, let us do the work. Give us a hint or an idea she shared, and we’ll develop it into a perfect custom handcrafted ring, absolutely special and tailored to her taste.
At YourAsteria, we have skills and design experience sufficient to translate your general idea into a sophisticated jewelry piece worthy of your love story. Drop us a word and tell us what you want - or allow us to pitch you with some very interesting pieces, both modern and timelessly elegant.
Conclusion
As you can guess, there is no strict timeline that dictates when each next step in your relationship should take place. You proceed at the speed that is comfortable to both of you. Yet these are some milestones that can prompt you that it’s the time or not the time yet.
Two or more years are just enough to get to know each other and to make the big decision thoughtfully and with preparedness. More than 6 years of dating can feel like a bit too long a stretch, and less than two years of dating are a bit too rushed for a critical step like this.
But whatever you two decide is best for you, we fully support your decision. And you can trust us to bring you a ring that will match your true love and unwavering commitment to each other.
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